Jarnpaggun is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, annoying lion.

Jarnpaggun created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnpaggun, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jarnpaggun, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Jarnpaggun's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Jarnpaggun's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Worship no other gods but Jarnpaggun.

3. Run away if nine tapirs approach from the south.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.