Lanvidrillpag is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, fast gorilla.

Lanvidrillpag created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanvidrillpag, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lanvidrillpag, it will think nothing of it.

Lanvidrillpag's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Lanvidrillpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must never eat beans.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.