Yattzigken Tagvadgig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, flying grasshopper.

Yattzigken Tagvadgig created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattzigken Tagvadgig, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yattzigken Tagvadgig, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Yattzigken Tagvadgig's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Yattzigken Tagvadgig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yattzigken Tagvadgig.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yattzigken Tagvadgig.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never bounce in holy places.