Dumrancun Jamkonham Likstansad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, happy lizard.

Dumrancun Jamkonham Likstansad created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumrancun Jamkonham Likstansad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dumrancun Jamkonham Likstansad, she will think nothing of it.

Dumrancun Jamkonham Likstansad's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Dumrancun Jamkonham Likstansad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dumrancun Jamkonham Likstansad nine times a day.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dumrancun Jamkonham Likstansad.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.