Budvabquimfas is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, ruthless narwhal.

Budvabquimfas created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Budvabquimfas, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Budvabquimfas, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Budvabquimfas' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Budvabquimfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Feed all hungry mites.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Always pray immersed in water.