Flaptaltam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, wise troll.

Flaptaltam created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flaptaltam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flaptaltam, she will strike you with lightening.

Flaptaltam's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Flaptaltam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Do not hurt gulls.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Feed all hungry shrews.