Sognulapp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, omnipotent hippopotamus.

Sognulapp created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sognulapp, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sognulapp, he will turn you into a dog.

Sognulapp's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sognulapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.