Timbessnak is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, grumpy wolf.

Timbessnak created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Timbessnak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Timbessnak, he will not care at all.

Timbessnak's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Timbessnak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Do not eat limes.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not hurt frogs.