Quillminnul Timwipfly is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, selfish dingo.

Quillminnul Timwipfly created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillminnul Timwipfly, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Quillminnul Timwipfly, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Quillminnul Timwipfly's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quillminnul Timwipfly's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Mice are not to be trusted.

3. Always wear pink.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.