Wiplikjap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, fast goblin.

Wiplikjap created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wiplikjap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wiplikjap, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Wiplikjap's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Wiplikjap's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Wiplikjap loves pigs, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.