Barngamzag is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, able cobra.

Barngamzag created the planet Venus two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barngamzag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Barngamzag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Barngamzag's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Barngamzag's Holy Commandments

1. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never mention monkeys.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not listen to music.