Jopcapyak is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, uncaring lizard.

Jopcapyak created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopcapyak, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jopcapyak, it will turn you into a puffin.

Jopcapyak's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Jopcapyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not eat nuts.