Gebquafpag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, confident gerbil.

Gebquafpag created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebquafpag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gebquafpag, it will turn you into a hamster.

Gebquafpag's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gebquafpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Run away from magenta shrews, for they are unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

5. Do not laugh in public.