Kipzakfon is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, ruthless badger.

Kipzakfon created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Kipzakfon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kipzakfon, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Kipzakfon's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Kipzakfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Never eat green fruit.