Gamfadtonbif is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, all-knowing jellyfish.

Gamfadtonbif created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamfadtonbif, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gamfadtonbif, it will turn you into a worm.

Gamfadtonbif's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gamfadtonbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gamfadtonbif.

4. You must love Gamfadtonbif.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.