Bemgentan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, uncaring horse.

Bemgentan created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemgentan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bemgentan, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bemgentan's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bemgentan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. You must love Bemgentan.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.