Xembisster is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, tiresome gnu.

Xembisster created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Xembisster, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xembisster, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Xembisster's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Xembisster's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xembisster.

2. Do not speak about bread.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Xembisster.

4. You must pray to Xembisster seven times a day.

5. Never sit in holy places.