Tonktit is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, self-assured penguin.

Tonktit created the Andromeda Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Tonktit, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonktit, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tonktit's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tonktit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always help great tits in need.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Never feed gooseberries to tortoises while wearing indigo boots.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.