Afcumcen is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciful tapir.

Afcumcen created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afcumcen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Afcumcen, he will ignore you.

Afcumcen's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Afcumcen's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Afcumcen.