Teenjapjon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omnipotent wombat.

Teenjapjon created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Teenjapjon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Teenjapjon, she will not care at all.

Teenjapjon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Teenjapjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not eat bread.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always stare at clouds.