Abjadlap is a god.

She takes the form of a large, grumpy horse.

Abjadlap created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abjadlap, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Abjadlap, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Abjadlap's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Abjadlap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Always obey Abjadlap's priests.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Feed all hungry badgers.