Nanbassbem is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, idiotic lizard.

Nanbassbem created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanbassbem, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nanbassbem, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nanbassbem's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Nanbassbem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never sit near dogs.