Bellomindod Titfodteendobgat Tomhabfat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, egotistical crocodile.

Bellomindod Titfodteendobgat Tomhabfat created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Bellomindod Titfodteendobgat Tomhabfat, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bellomindod Titfodteendobgat Tomhabfat, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bellomindod Titfodteendobgat Tomhabfat's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bellomindod Titfodteendobgat Tomhabfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not take Bellomindod Titfodteendobgat Tomhabfat's name in vain.

4. Never eat cherries.

5. Never wear turquoise shorts.