Fabgutnut is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, uncaring zebra.

Fabgutnut created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fabgutnut, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fabgutnut, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fabgutnut's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Fabgutnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never wear blue skirts.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.