Flandussflab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, prudent clam.

Flandussflab created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flandussflab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flandussflab, she will turn you into a puffin.

Flandussflab's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Flandussflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Pray towards the north.