Voldimcen is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, ill-tempered spider.

Voldimcen created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Voldimcen, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Voldimcen, it will cry a lot.

Voldimcen's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Voldimcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never think ill of sick goats.
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