Xuccetjig Quamwittam is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unfair crocodile.

Xuccetjig Quamwittam created the Virgo Supercluster eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuccetjig Quamwittam, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Xuccetjig Quamwittam, it will not care.

Xuccetjig Quamwittam's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Xuccetjig Quamwittam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mice.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

4. Never jump near aardvarks.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.