Hankinpark is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish mink.

Hankinpark created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hankinpark, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hankinpark, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hankinpark's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Hankinpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. You must love Hankinpark.

4. Never feed pineapples to sheep while wearing cyan scarves.

5. Never wear stockings.