Quatvoggod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, witless gnu.

Quatvoggod created the Whirlpool Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quatvoggod, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quatvoggod, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Quatvoggod's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Quatvoggod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never wear cyan shorts.