Matvolsat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, quiet giraffe.

Matvolsat created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matvolsat, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Matvolsat, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Matvolsat's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Matvolsat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Never jump near voles.