Vantailvonflamwad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, boastful rat.

Vantailvonflamwad created the Tadpole Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vantailvonflamwad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vantailvonflamwad, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vantailvonflamwad's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Vantailvonflamwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sharks.

2. Vantailvonflamwad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never feed parsnips to geese while wearing magenta jumpers.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Run away if six bats approach from the north.