Dussdimtar Tampakzoggep is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, uncaring lion.

Dussdimtar Tampakzoggep created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussdimtar Tampakzoggep, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dussdimtar Tampakzoggep, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dussdimtar Tampakzoggep's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Dussdimtar Tampakzoggep's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never wear purple tights.