Tipjarngemfom is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, fast crab.

Tipjarngemfom created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipjarngemfom, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tipjarngemfom, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tipjarngemfom's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tipjarngemfom's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are not to be trusted.

2. Always obey Tipjarngemfom's priests.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never jump in the presence of pigs.