Cubbadpod is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, merciful guinea pig.

Cubbadpod created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubbadpod, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cubbadpod, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cubbadpod's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cubbadpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never wear brown kilts.