Ponfuttap is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, proud toad.

Ponfuttap created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ponfuttap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ponfuttap, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Ponfuttap's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Ponfuttap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese in need.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

3. Never mention eagles.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.