Fidxinont is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, caring pig.

Fidxinont created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Fidxinont, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fidxinont, he will turn you into a goat.

Fidxinont's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fidxinont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Run away from brown pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not cook food in pots.