Yarpmobgan is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, charitable deer.

Yarpmobgan created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmobgan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yarpmobgan, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Yarpmobgan's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Yarpmobgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to foxes while wearing yellow ear rings.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.