Vonwatyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, bad-tempered gorilla.

Vonwatyatt created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Vonwatyatt, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vonwatyatt, it will turn you into a hamster.

Vonwatyatt's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Vonwatyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine capybaras approach from the south.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.