Hogkikwan is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, staggering walrus.

Hogkikwan created the Sun four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogkikwan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hogkikwan, it will curse you with boils.

Hogkikwan's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Hogkikwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Hogkikwan's name in vain.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

4. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

5. Hide from gray great tits for they are unholy.