Komtoftif is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humorless hedgehog.

Komtoftif created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Komtoftif, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Komtoftif, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Komtoftif's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Komtoftif's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always obey Komtoftif's priests.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never write about galaxies.