Nartladgun Februtdad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, flying grasshopper.

Nartladgun Februtdad created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartladgun Februtdad, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nartladgun Februtdad, it will not care at all.

Nartladgun Februtdad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nartladgun Februtdad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Nartladgun Februtdad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help sheep.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Retreat if four pigs approach from the east.