Labfobvonk Muttailkik is a god.

She takes the form of a small, strong shrew.

Labfobvonk Muttailkik created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labfobvonk Muttailkik, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Labfobvonk Muttailkik, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Labfobvonk Muttailkik's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Labfobvonk Muttailkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

5. Do not hurt tortoises.