Naktambem is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate weasel.

Naktambem created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Naktambem, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Naktambem, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Naktambem's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Naktambem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise tapirs for they are unholy.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Naktambem loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not chop down trees.