Mifcapcim is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, bad-tempered dolphin.

Mifcapcim created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifcapcim, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Mifcapcim, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Mifcapcim's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Mifcapcim's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

4. Never talk about pigs.

5. Never sing in the presence of foxes.