Kenpangkin is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome gnu.

Kenpangkin created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenpangkin, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kenpangkin, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Kenpangkin's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Kenpangkin's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Never eat bark.