Flathognil is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, selfish alligator.

Flathognil created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flathognil, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flathognil, he will turn you into a mole.

Flathognil's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Flathognil's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Put Flathognil first in all things.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.