Nullkoplun is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, omnipotent grasshopper.

Nullkoplun created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullkoplun, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nullkoplun, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nullkoplun's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Nullkoplun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs.

2. Never wear fawn corsets.

3. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always obey Nullkoplun's priests.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.