Yikjanquam is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, fussy capybara.

Yikjanquam created everything that exists three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yikjanquam, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yikjanquam, it will destroy your favourite star.

Yikjanquam's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Yikjanquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Yikjanquam on top of all buildings.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never talk about monkeys.

5. Worship no other gods but Yikjanquam.