Quatcepfod is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, idiotic gnu.

Quatcepfod created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quatcepfod, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quatcepfod, she will not invite you to parties.

Quatcepfod's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Quatcepfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Quatcepfod must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Quatcepfod on top of all buildings.

5. Never eat bark.