Tomkonsis Fidjabsanfossnigstipnarcun is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous bird.

Tomkonsis Fidjabsanfossnigstipnarcun created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomkonsis Fidjabsanfossnigstipnarcun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tomkonsis Fidjabsanfossnigstipnarcun, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tomkonsis Fidjabsanfossnigstipnarcun's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Tomkonsis Fidjabsanfossnigstipnarcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick geese.

2. Put Tomkonsis Fidjabsanfossnigstipnarcun first in all things.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.